The title is not a typo and it is pronounced "Odd". My middle child's name is Audrey. She personifies middle child and she is really friggin weird. All stories about Audrey are referred to as Aud stories.
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| The last time Aud played dress up she stuffed 2 mini basketballs down her pants and there are no words to describe the accompanying dance. |
Over the years there are a few explanations I have offered to describe our beloved daughter. The most apt seems to be "If Jerry Lewis and Jim Carrey somehow spawned a love child...
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and that's when she's mellow most of the time it's more like:
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Don't misunderstand Audrey is an exceptionally bright child and absolutely beautiful but when combined with the voice of a chipmunk and the energy of a humming bird any public outing is a complete shit show (there's that phrase, you've been looking for it. You know you have)
It doesn't help that we haven't been the most traditional parents. I blame myself for what has become one of the favorite Aud stories to date. In fact I chose Aud as a topic because today is October 1st and that can only mean one thing. It's time to pull out all the scaries and get ready for my favoritist holiday of all. Every year we create a Liege of Monsters in the front yard ...... I think I have a photo example. NO I'll tell the story first. Over the years we have saved all of our Halloween Costumes and masks and now have quite the bin of horror to be used for our monsters graveyard. Though we have the props we don't exactly have the best know how. So years ago when the plan to showcase these atrocities was originally developed we figured we could take a 7 foot 2x4 and drive it into the ground for a body after nailing a 3-4 foot 2x4 a foot from the top for arms. And then using an old Halloween costume, mask and a dummy head...whala! you've got yourself a pretty crude looking monster.
Last year the family did something new. We went on a walking Ghost Tour. A guide walked us up a historic street in Park City Utah and down the other side telling us stories from the mining era. Later that same weekend my Children brought their friends on a Ghost Tour of our front yard and told stories about the many monsters........
I'm going to take a short break here to provide one other little piece of info about Aud. I mentioned before that we haven't been the most traditional parents especially considering we are living in Utah. And much to the horror of our extended family we never really got around to teaching Audrey about Mr. J.C. She has of course heard bits and pieces and was able to assemble her own idea........
To my shock and amazement when it was Aud's turn as guide she turned to her audience of young neighborhood kids and began her story of a man that lived a long time ago. He had magical powers and he especially loved little children. They tried to kill him but but he returned from the grave he was called....
JESUS
King of the Zombies
We're kind of thinking about not building zombies out of wooden crosses this year.